Pupperoni

Oh hi, loyal consumers of dog blogs. Today's entry comes to us from a far away land that I call "Harrisonburg"--named, of course, after the son of Harry, Burg. Thanh lives in Harrisonburg and she has a dog named Clyde. Thanh writes:

John has balanced pepperoni on Clyde's face. Clyde must hold the position until John tells him "okay" upon which he can toss back the pepperoni and eat it.

Simple, right? I wonder if he catches every single piece of pepperoni in one bite, or if they scatter on the floor and he has to snatch them all back up as soon as possible for fear that they might be taken away? If the latter, then their floor must have some gnarly bite marks.

The dog: Clyde
The food: Pepperoni
The place: In of side
The synopsis: Imagine the restraint required for a dog--not only can he not eat what is within reach of so many sensation centers (e.g. mouth, nose, eyes) but he has to wait until they are NEATLY ARRANGED!?!

Slowly the bacon enveloped us all...and we died deliciously

This is another study of perspective. Does the dog want the bacon or does the bacon want to eat the dog!?!?! Which hand is drawing the other one? Where do the stairs go? Are those fish or birds?!?!I'm all out of references cuz I didn't go to art school!

But our submitter did. This is another Lady Gilp original--this time with her mum's pup.

The dog: Dexter
The food: Bacon
The place: Bodymore, Murderland
The synopsis: C is for baCon!

ME ROLLERBLADING!

Look at those skills! What is it that's been said about rollerblading? The hardest part about it is...

You wanted the best, you got the BEST! MABEL!

So those of you that dabble in my life know that there is one dog that brings me much joy without having to do too much. And that's good for her because she's prone to not doing much at all. But that's ok, because my Mabel long ago learned that food and shelter would come to her no matter what.

Now, two things need to be said about Mabel. First, she is a wimp. An absolute wuss. Scared of everything. So taking pictures of her for this blog proved rather hard. Because of this, the shot I was able to take is not head on. That's ok. The point is made I think. You just don't get to see her sweet face.

Second, my family and I have done a horrible job training Mabel. She's a beggar. Through and through.

The dog: Mabel

The food: I really don't know. Probably something that my mom sprinkled flax seed on and tried to convince me was good.

The place: My parents' living room

The synopsis: Honestly, my favorite thing about this photo is how well my mom matches her surroundings. Kinda like that scene in Garden State where Zach Braff matches the wallpaper. Momma gotta coooooordinate.

A lesson in perspective...

So take a look at Foxy, a dog belonging to a coworker of Amy in CA. Foxy is, from what I've heard, a regular sized dog. If Foxy was as big as this pictures purports him to be I'm sure I would have heard about him via a large news outlet (a la Einstein, the pint-sized pony). But, like Picasso skewed our points of view or like Escher exploited our architecturally imposed restraints, Foxy and his owner are challenging our notions of a regular sized dog. A few possibilities:

a) Foxy is two inches tall

b) Foxy's owner is 8 feet tall

c) There exists a tear in the fabric of space in this living room

You decide. I haven't even begun to discuss the food elements of this photo yet!

The dog: Foxy

The food: Pupcorn (HA!)

The place: Sunny California, where nothing is what it seems

The synopsis: I think there are snakes in the world that can eat horses, so I guess it's possible for a dog of this size to eat a kernal of pupcorn that is as big as the dog itself. I'll go with Possibility A.

The Flying Dutchie comes home...To doughnuts!

I recently had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of Dutch, an energetic dog from Baltimore whose love of finding mice is matched only by his love of being picked up and spun (Ed. note: Dutch was not able to confirm the latter verbally, though he seemed blissfully resigned to said activity).

The pic was submitted by Lady Giplin and it certainly does look like it was submitted by someone with an MFA! What composition!

The dog: Dutch(ie)

The food: A Wawa Doughnut

The place: The Gilpin/Martin household

The synopsis: I think this is the first one wherein the food pictured is highly appetizing to me, too. Actually, Dutch is pretty funny. I noted during my time with him that he only wanted pistachios until the nut was actually gone--he knew to avoid the shell. But they're so salty, I thought. If I was a dog I would probably chew on the shells thinking that there's GOT to be food in here. But maybe that's why I'm not a dog. Also, my parents weren't dogs.

I have no connection to this dog, yet I empathize so fiercely

So my friend Val Pal sent me a rather remarkable set of doggie pictures that her co-worker's mom made into a calendar. THEN, to further convolute this matter, she sent me photos that didn't make the final doggie calendar cut. But it is in this convolution that this gem was uncovered. Everyone, say hello to Byte. Byte the dog. HA! I can see how saying that out loud would be funny.

Anyways, I've never been a fan of set up doggie shots (Ed. note: LIAR!) but this one is pretty cute.

The dog: Byte

The food: In what is quickly becoming this blog's go-to protein, turkey.

The place: A somewhat well-lit room

The synopsis: Byte. Sorry brother. You asked for this fate being so patient and malleable. Go ahead. Grab a leg. I won't tell. You're needed at the next location in five wearing a Santa beard.

The many faces of Hunter: Installment the first - Sneaky

Ok, so in all honesty the title of this post is what it is in hopes that Kelly and Tim will submit more photos of Hunter staring lovingly at food. After all, he was one of the inspirations behind this blog. I've never seen such simultaneous concentration, forlornment, anticipation, desire, and passion in one dog's face as he stares down the barrel of a loaded food item. Here's a pic submitted by Mrs. N of Hunter sneaking his giant head into a tightly wound group of birthday revelers.

The dog: Hunter!

The food: birthday cake

The place: unknown.

The synopsis: Oh man, Hunter you're looking grey, dude. So many years of unadulterated exhuberance is starting to wear you down. But some things don't age--and that's the taste of eggs/flour/sugar/dripping wax in your greedy little mitts. So good after all these years.

For there is no divide too wide, no energy drink too enticing

Today's post comes courtesy of the Salzmans and stars their dogs, Molly and Louise. Molly (stubby) is a precious little runt and Louise (black and shiney) is a spastic nose biter. While their personalities may differ, their love of anything that resembles food that is held enticingly above their head unites them.


The dog(s): Molly and Louise
The food: Flour and Rock Star Sugar-Free Energy Drink
The place: The Salzman's kitchen
The synopsis: I'm usually a firm believer in giving dogs food if they beg for it cute enough, but I think in this case the dogs, and we as a civilization, are better off if they don't consume Rock Star Sugar-Free Energy Drink.

Even on my birthday I have to beg...

So yesterday was my birthday and I thought the best way to celebrate it today was to post a doggie birthday shot. This one comes from Tina--it's her lovely pup Arcea (Arse for short) and guess what he gets for his birthday? I don't know! It's some pastry though. And boy does he want it.

The dog: Arcea
The food: Ummm...Tina help me out on this one (UPDATE: pate chaud).
The place: Near a lap
The synopsis: Look at those eyes. It must be an evolutionary advantage for domesticated dogs to have such expressive eyes. I would fork over whatever I was eating if those eyes were being bandied about.

Thankscraving cont.

Today's post is a special memorial post for a little dog named Hershey. He liked it when I scratched his ears. He hated people's feet. Most importantly, he loved to patiently wait for turkey, even when there was no turkey coming his way. Says submitter Angela:

This was Thanksgiving a couple of years ago in Plainview, Texas. As you know, we stopped feeding Hershey people food back in 2001 because of his PANCREATITUS. But yet, he never stopped begging (and staring).

The dog: Hershey
The food: TURKEY!
The place: Devereaux's kitchen
The synopsis: I hope that Hershey is given at least a little turkey in doggie heaven. Though I don't know how medically advanced doggie heaven is, so maybe his pancreatitus still prohibits such things.

The Curse of the Lack of the Opposable Thumb

Today's post comes from dog enthusiast Laura Sylvest who brings to our attention the cravings of Bodie (furry) and Ruby (smooth). Laura offers her take below:

I particularly like [these] because the dogs can see the handle of the tool that, if they had opposable thumbs, would allow them to feed themselves. Alas, they are limited by the dog bodies they are trapped in and must instead stare blankly ahead at what they'll never have: Thanksgiving turkey.

The dog(s): Bodie and Ruby
The food: TURKEY!
The place: Sylvest's kitchen
The synopsis: These are clever dogs in action. They know that no good can come from diving right in. Patience is the name of the game. And, perhaps because of that, they know their best chance for sweet, meaty redemption is to focus their efforts away from the food and on to the utensil which may, god willing, provide them that food. For that, we can all be thankful.

Boa's Beggin' for Beef

Here we go! Now we're off and running. This shot is really what I'm talking about. Look at that TONGUE! If you'll allow me to anthropomorphize for a bit, that tongue is probably saying, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE BOUNTY I'M ABOUT TO RECEIVE."

The dog: Boa.
The food: Hot dog chunks.
The place: My backyard.
The synopsis: Boa was pretty all over the place during our staff party. The one constant was that she tried to get her little shaggy paws on our food, in whatever form it came in. She licked the grill brush at one point to get the dusty, gritty remains from whatever we cooked weeks ago. Eating these chunks totally awakened a dormant spirit in her, as she went off on anything--be it real or imaginary--trying to find more of that sweet, sweet beef.
Entrancement Scale (1-10): 8

SALZ! That's right, look up here!

So here's a picture of my friend Merah's dog looking at some kind of food. I'll get to my rundown in a second, but I thought that Merah's e-mail wherein she sent this photo is funnier than anything I can write:

"Would this qualify for your new BLOG??...Or is your blog just going to have one entry forever??...NB i was asking for pics of my dog bc i miss her, NOT specifically for your blog."

Literally from inquisitive to sarcastically dismissive in three sentences. That's my Merah! Miss you!

Anyways, the rundown:

The dog: Salz.
The food: Unknown. Maybe dangling grapes. Maybe.
The place: Unknown. Perhaps an IKEA showroom?
The synopsis: This dog is quite accustomed to being patient to get what she wants.
Entrancement Scale (1-10): 7.5.

The premiere post

Hi everyone,

So here's the first of what I hope is many posts. Note the dog in the background, staring at the food in the foreground. That is what I'm looking for people.

The dog: Named TBD (though I like Boo or Thandie...get on it, KAITLYN!)
The food: Herr's chips and some bootleg Teddy Grahams
The place: My living room
The synopsis: TBD was a surprisingly distracted dog considering the bevy of treats laid out in front of her. I had to shake the bags to get her attention, but after I gave her a chip her attention was all mine.
Entrancement scale (1-10): 6.

Hey Everyone

Welcome to my new blog: dogslookingatfoodthattheywanttoeat. I think the premise is simple so I won't explain it any further. Now all I need is pictures that illustrate my blog's premise.